You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
