he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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