Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
