so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
