I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
