worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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