i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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