ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
