Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
