You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize