all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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