I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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