Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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