i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
