Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize