Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize