guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize