It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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