we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
