boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I could fuck to npr.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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