Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
