I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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