First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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