its not stalking. its research.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
