Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
