Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize