Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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