So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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