ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize