Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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