I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
