i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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