I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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