Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize