you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
