This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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