I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
