i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
