she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
