i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
