I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Congratulations! We have a period
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
