You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize