so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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