Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize