remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
jump out the window naked night went bad
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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