Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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