I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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