Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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