So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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