So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
