just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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