I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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