Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
