I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
