She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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