Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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