Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
