dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
