I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
