I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
