Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think people are normalizing furries
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
