Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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