I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
