So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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