:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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