My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
