Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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