"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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